First, do you have a reproductive issue?
If you’re like me and you’ve suffered with endometriosis and/or interstitial cystitis then you know the reality of having painful sex and having a hard time climaxing and having orgasms. Even if you don’t have these conditions, sex only gets worse after having babies-and this applies to every person who gives birth because your hormones will change alot, carrying a baby will strain/damage your pelvic floor, and whether you birth vaginally or through a C-section, your reproductive organs are forever changed. If you do suffer from any of these conditions, let me encourage you by sharing that things can get better!!!! If you do have endo/IC, let me share that after my hysterectomy plus undergoing hormonal treatments, that my sex life is now amazing.
If you are not suffering from these conditions, but have low libido, or feel uncomfortable during sex then I still urge you to get your hormones tested by a GYN and NOT a PCP. I can’t say that enough! I know after having my son that my testosterone was hardly existent and so any sex drive I had was gone, and without testosterone, the inside of my vaginal wall and the muscles and tendons surrounding it had become dry and brittle, making sex very very painful for me.
I also recommend seeing a pelvic floor therapist. If you are in the Brentwood, TN area I recommend Erika Young. If you are not local to this area then I recommend going through your insurance to find a pelvic floor therapist nearest to you. Even before I started my hormone treatments I experienced tremendous relief once I started my pelvic floor therapy. This takes work on your part but you will be glad that you did it, I promise you. Oh yeah, I also forgot to add that I no longer “sneeze pee” either.
Making Sex Extra Ahhhhh-Mazing
So at this point, if you’ve ruled out reproductive health issues, and/or have worked on getting them resolved with the appropriate professionals, how can you make sex better, and how in the world would I know about this?
Well, I have friends who are sex workers. I also dated a talented porn star before meeting my husband. I learned alot about sex from these friends and my intimate experiences with my ex boyfriend. Trust me when I say that I know what great sex is and I want to experience it with my husband every single night.
I like to use toys while having sex with my husband. It’s like having the ultimate threesome without sharing my body with other people because I am very devoted to my husband and don’t want to be with other people. So to bring that experience into our bedroom without going against my vows, sex toys are the perfect option. And of course, I found them on Amazon. I used to go to sex stores but it just got to be a bit awkward for me, and there were instances where my toys broke soon after I got them and you can’t return them (gross). But on Amazon, if it didn’t work, then I could just ship it back, and it was cheaper on amazon, and I didn’t have to speak to the creepy dude behind the counter at the sex store so it’s a win win.
My top two sex toys
First, I recommend this one to use with your partner. I love it because when my partner is inside of me, I can use this to simulate what it is like to have the most amazing threesome ever. Other toys vibrate which is nice and all, but after awhile it can make your clit numb. This one actually has a suction action that is oh so amazing. I’ve had the most incredible back to back orgasms using this while riding my husband reverse cowgirl and I promise you that you will love it too! Here is the link:
My second favorite sex toy is for solo use. I also like to send it to my friends who are going through a breakup/divorce. It penetrates with vibration plus it has a suction area at the top so you can have the best of both worlds by yourself. Here is the link:
Now, I like to always have lube on hand so I will share with you the same exact kind that I like to use and have had no issues with. It’s like $6 for a big bottle and I have alot of sensitivities and even with my endo/ic this didn’t hurt me at all. Here is the link:
Feeling more comfortable with positions
As we get older, our bodies go through so many changes, and some of those changes are just plain age! My knees for example have been bothering me and to have sex in the positions that I really love meant that my knees would be swollen the next day and eventually they would hurt so badly that I just could not have sex. I looked into this and there are ways to remedy this so that way you can enjoy sex and both you and your partner can be super comfortable.
I highly recommend getting a sex chair. Here is the link:
This is the same kind of chair that I own. I know that it is pricey but the cheaper ones are inflatable and that is just not stable enough, plus eventually it will pop. This chair was a life saver especially when I was very pregnant. There are positions you can google and try new things, but I love using it to sit on and face my husband, to do reverse cow girl, and to lean over on for when he does me from behind-all while using my toys with ease. There are many other positions as well, but I’m such a creature of habit, so when I like something I just do it all the time, so I haven’t ventured further than what I like to do. It’s also a lovely chair to sit on and watch TV when you’re not having sex, and it doesn’t look so obtuse that people know what it’s for when they come over.