My Chocolate Cake Recipe

I’m going to start by sharing that I am no culinary expert by any means.

I’m not being humble. I’m being serious.

But here is my signature take on chocolate cake that you may want to make for a very special event.

The Secret Recipe

It’s on the back of the Hershey’s Cocoa can. Like a treasure map of sorts.

The Process

To make a true Shitcake (pronounced Shih-tAh-kuh), one must switch all measurements into grams to be weighed upon the food scale.

Next, cut the recipe in half by asking Alexa to do it for you. Then, once the cocoa is mixed in, realize that Alexa misunderstood the question and gave information that made everything slightly off ratio. Remove about 30 g from the flour and cocoa. Add in the boiling water at the end of this phase.

Grease your cake pan ever so lightly with butter to help with the sticking process later.

Pour in your batter and bake as directed for the minimum time.

Take out the cake to cool off. After eight minutes, turn the cake pan upside down and allow it to flop on top of your wire rack to cool. Parts of the cake will stick to the pan, which is what it was prepared to do. The newly shaped craters will help the chocolate to flow and fill up the cake, like soup.

Allow the cake to cool on the wire rack for about 5 more minutes, then flip onto the serving platter. Some parts of the cake should get stuck between the grids of the iron rack. This creates unique riverbeds that will soon be flowing with hot chocolate icing!!!!

Look at all those puddles and rivers of hot chocolate soup lava

Use this recipe to make the icing. My trick is to keep throwing in 2 tbsp of powdered sugar until it seems ok. I have no idea how many I used. Just have fun with it like you’re making a potion.

It looks just as shitty as it’s name.

Pour your hot icing over your cake and serve.

This cake looks like crap but it tastes like the best lava chocolate cake ever.

Nothing says “happy birthday” like a shitcake that crumbles everywhere.

Now you can be the baking goddess you’ve always dreamed of being.

You’re welcome!!!!!

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